


Mayonnaise

by jason6297



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Humanstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-18
Updated: 2015-06-18
Packaged: 2018-04-05 01:53:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4161138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jason6297/pseuds/jason6297
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Honestly, taking care of his sorry ass is getting old, but you wouldn’t be able to live without him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mayonnaise

“Sollux,” you poke him in the side. “What the ever-loving fuck are you eating?”  
He glances at you from over his shoulder, one hand still on his mouse. He swallows.  
“Starcrunch,” he says simply, as if you’re stupid for not knowing.  
“Have you had ANYTHING to eat today?”  
“Um. Doritos?” You smack yourself in the face.  
“You titwaffle, doritos are not food. While I appreciate the fact that you’re actually eating at all, you need to eat something that will actually support your body. I mean, seriously, it’s nine in the fucking afternoon.”  
“In my defense, I woke up at, like, four.”  
“Why should that make it okay?” You’re yelling. He’s probably used to it, but he still shrinks away from you a bit.  
“Look, I’m just not that hungry. Why bother making quote-unquote real food when I can just open a package?”  
“Eat something, you idiot.” He raises his eyebrows and proceeds to shove the rest of the starcrunch in his mouth, looking you dead in the eye. You glare at him for a solid three seconds before picking him up from his chair and carrying him into the kitchen. He’s wiggling in your arms and screaming at you (“God fucking DAMNIT, KK, you know I hate being picked up, fuck!”) but it’s not much of a fight.  
You dump him on the counter and go to the fridge. You can FEEL him glaring at you, but it doesn’t bother you. You come back to him with a terribly made ham sandwich. He takes it, but doesn’t do anything but stare at it.  
“I told you, I’m not hungry.” You groan, smacking yourself in the face again.  
“Sollux, I don’t mean to act all mother-hen, but if I’m correct, you haven’t eaten real food since, what, tuesday? And it’s saturday, you disgusting sack of shit. Eat.”  
He sputters at you before looking back at the sandwich.  
“Does it have mayonnaise?” You groan.  
“Yes, I remembered you love that disgusting condiment, even though literally no one else on the entire fucking planet does. Of fucking course it has mayonnaise on it, I’m not stupid.”  
He picks at the crust, picky bastard, before slowly taking a bite. You can practically see the gears in his brain saying food is good for him, and he finishes most of it.  
“Stop staring at me, you creep.” He mumbles, sliding off of the counter and throwing whatever he didn’t eat away. He goes back to his room and closes the door. You sigh. Honestly, taking care of his sorry ass is getting old, but you wouldn’t be able to live without him.


End file.
